Here at home in Washington, DC, the expectation is that soon we’ll be harvesting the fruits of the gardens we planted earlier in the year. We’re elated at the prospect of enjoying the bounty.

When our expectations are met, that elated, expansive feeling often leads to gratitude and reverential quiet. Physically, we feel totally at one from the crowns of our heads to the tips of our toes.

Sometimes, though, our gardens fall prey to the unexpected: inclement weather, insect invasion, poor planning. The wise farmer learns from unpredictable and unforeseen events that dash her expectations. She takes in the lesson, and moves on.

How do you manage your expectations? What happens when one of your expectations is unfulfilled? What senses take over in your body? Perhaps you experience a closing in, disappointment, or even anger. Our body’s resilience teaches us and helps us move on. Eventually, the low feelings fade, though they may come back every now and then. Setting a time limit for the negative feelings-15 minutes or some other short period; please do not allow yourself to take a full day-is one way to nurture your resilience.

As business owners, we have expectations of ourselves and those with whom with work. The same lesson for cultivating resilience in the face of disappointment that holds true for our bodies holds for our work lives. The physical sensations of contraction connected with disappointment and sadness can make it harder to connect with clients, to be in business the way we want to be.

You did not win the contract you expected. A client who promised to pay her retainer did not follow through. Your partner missed a major deadline. Being curious helps when our expectations in business aren’t realized. Thinking in terms of “Please help me understand” or “Can you me help understand” open you up to learning and physically allow your body to relax. Ask yourself, “What made me have the expectation? What happened that my expectation wasn’t fulfilled the way I imagined?”

My operating principle-that everything happens for a reason-means we don’t need to know what the reason is, simply that there is one. This helps me manage expectations of myself and in my business.

… It’s reasonable for me to have expectations based on what somebody I trust has committed to. And it’s natural for me to feel disappointed when that somebody doesn’t come through… When I feel more than disappointment, when I also feel anger, it’s because I deviated from my truth. It’s because I compromised my truth to get what somebody else promised. Because when I’m really following my truth, I will be at peace with the consequences-whatever they are….~ Jan Denise

Isn’t it time to get what you want? To be heard. To connect. To have lasting business and personal relationships. To experience freedom.